Somedays I wonder.
As my head is swimming with vaccination protocols to remember, new calves to be ear tagged, and rows of just empty hutches to be washed, moved into new rows, and freshly bedded with straw.
When the mercury dips below zero and water pipes freeze or tractor motors are just too cold to start. At these times patience can wear so thin as cold, tired people try to fix endless problems in the freezing weather.
As I find myself balancing accounts down to the cent and yet contemplating 7-figure life insurance policies I wonder about the sanity of it all.
Is this really the simple, idyllic life in the country I imagined?
Then I remind myself nothing is quite as simple as it seems. And nothing is perfect in this imperfect world.
From the outside looking in is often when I see the most beauty in my days.
When I take a step outside myself and realize I work in God’s glorious creation everyday with my husband I can see I’m blessed.
When I remember I have eager new babies yearning to suck on my fingers and older heifers that come running when they see me I can feel I’m needed.
When I appreciate the welcoming chill of fall and then the glorious warming of spring because I’m outside to notice them I can sense how much I’m alive.
As the end of the year approaches I’m buried in spreadsheets more often, and I’m trying to figure out just how to create more pennies in a dollar. Simple, right?
Just days ago we signed the papers to purchase our first acreage of farm land,
and I hope it’s the right next step.
As crop and food prices soar, the cost of land has also increased dramatically. We bought from a wonderful and fair older couple, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about how we will pay the bills.
My husband is the dreamer and schemer, and I’m so happy he can finally have a piece of soil to call his own. But I’m the logical, number-punching worrier, so sometimes I just have to breathe and tell myself it will all work out.
God is good all the time, and he brought us to this decision and place. Maybe even so we can learn to trust him more as things get tough?
I like simple. But simple isn’t always the answer to everything.
I suppose the holidays are a perfect time to be writing this post, as they also flaunt a perfect image of simplicity and happiness, but in reality can be hurried and stressful for many.
I love Christmas down to my very core, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or perfect.
Perhaps that’s more how I need to approach farming… as something I love alongside its challenges, hardships, and imperfections?
One thing I do know is that I’m lucky to see sites like these in my daily work.
Wishing you all a simple, beautiful December.